??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
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