thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
