So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
