So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
