420 ftw
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize