I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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