It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
