I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
