I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
