On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
This is classic penis vs brain.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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