dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
