He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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