why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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