I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
