i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
