why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There r osticjed everywhere
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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