He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
