perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
