before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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