i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
