Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize