Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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