The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize