so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
