Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize