Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
