I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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