Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
