Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
