I can tuck mytits in my pants
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
