i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
