come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
