sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
