the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My vagina is officially offended.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
