so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
