At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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