If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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