Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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