happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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