DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
