But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
