we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
