I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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