It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
These tits shall not be calmed
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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