Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
