question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
