My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Also, beer. Big fan.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
