so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
