At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
