i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
