I love black thongs
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
