He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
