That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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