I like to think it a success when the cops are called
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
