i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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