that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
