seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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