i was rollin on her like bob the builder
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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