The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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