you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
