I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she peed on how many people?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
