butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
