It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
