is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We left an ass print on the piano.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
