We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
